It’s My Life

Probably my cloest friend for the last 8 years is getting married tomorrow for the second time. My firm belief is that you get the option to have a trial first marriage. While you may not need it some of us do. Her trial marriage lasted over 20 years. I helped her through. She is now on the other side and blissfully happy. I get to start wedding hair at 9am. Which I am not a fan of. However for her and one other person this summer, I am bending my rules and doing wedding hair. I just hope it doesn’t come back to bite me in the ass.

I also feel bad that she thinks that since it’s her second marriage she didn’t need wedding pics. So I will be doing my best with my Cannon Sure Shot to get some great pics for her.

Of all the people I know, Lisa deserves her second chance at happiness, God knows her first shot was cut short due to , well her ex husband being a dick,

Family is traditionally your blood relatives.

In recent weeks and months I have come to realize that family are the people who hold your needs, wants and desires close to their hearts in addition to your own.

My family in these last few weeks have had some changes.

Biological people have been given an exit pass and people I have established friendships with over the past couple years have replaced blood relatives that never deserved a spot in the first place.

So without further ado….

The newest members to my family (which probably isn’t news to them) are my beautiful friend Nickiey, with her stunning red hair, hot ass husband and gorgeous son. Bonus points for having a Badger room. She is my long lost sister. We theoretically share the same mother and we have overcome. I have loved her from the first Marlboro light in a box and a Limon and diet with a lime. Oh wait you don’t have sour cream? What NO SOUR CREAM?? Are you shitting me?

And to Dani. From the first moment I met you I knew we would be friends and then family.

You understand parent issues on a completely different level. You are funny and smart and beautiful and your husband is a funny fucker, even though he doesn’t want to meet internet friends. I can tell you and Nic anything and I won’t be judged.

I love you both so much and would do anything for you. Ok Well most of the time. I’m not hiding your pot cause well, I’d smoke it and that would be bad.

I love you both immensely and can’t imagine my life without both of you in it.

I pink puffy fucking heart you fucking bitches,

You know it’s with love

One particular virtue I do not possess is patience. With anything. period.

Things I don’t have tolerance/patience for-

1. Jackasses on the beltline who can’t do the speed limit, Let along 65.

Yes I am the bitch in the SUV who has no problem running up your ass. Also FYI I have insurance and I have NO PROBLEM rear ending you and telling you what a fucking moron you are. That is why I pay insurance. Don’t push me. You are warned

2. Morons at work- I hate people who attempt to make themselves seem more important and more competent than they really are in a quite vain attempt to keep a job that you are clearly not qualified for.

I admit I am not a rocket scientist but I grab the basic concept of language and customer support.

I’m not a Geek Squad employee who got fired for crappy service but feel the need to try and redeem themselves ( HI BEN!!!)

3. Ignorance is not bliss people. Pay fucking attention, cause if you aren’t, Other people are and karma is a bitch and I love to be the bitch to deliver it.

J- You would sleep with Marilyn Manson?

Me- Ummm DUH

J- I don’t even know you right now

Me- That’s probably a good thing with this

My friend Tracey had her babies last night. I can’t wait to meet them

Congrats Tracey and Jamie.

This is my guilty pleasure and I can’t get enough

I have seen more cankles in the last three days than I have in my entire life. I mean I am fat but where do cankles come from.

Some people relish in making fun of others. Which I find mildly amusing. Why? Because they supposedly can’t stand you but take the time and effort to read a blog and then sign the person up for lots of spam.

I love that I have such an impact on someones life.

Bring it on.

So I was never a big fan of the big new LCD tvs or the whole draw of HD.

I didn’t get it. As long as I could see my shows on our regular old tv, I was good.

Well that was before our new tv and the whole HD thing.

I have been missing so much. Granted some things don’t need to be seen in high def. Jenna Jameson would be one FYI.

I am in love with HDTV and I don’t think I can ever go back. So if you don’t have HD I might have to boycott your house, or else all future parties will have to be held at my house.

kthxbai!

I bought the DVD’s today and a very good friend of mine, Sarah, is going to be teaching a class this fall. But I felt that I needed to get a head start. Since I am uber fat. I also bought the Nintendo Wii Fit, which promises to keep track of my weight loss and my physical strength. I’ll let you know how it goes.

I’ve already watched half of the Beginners Zumba Video and hell I can do that. I usually attempt something close to it when drinking so it should be a cinch. I just wonder will tennis shoes be appropriate or should I break out my hooker shoes.

Thank you.

I hate having a sore throat. I hate aching everywhere. I hate alternating between hot and cold every 2.3 minutes. Hate do you hear me.

I also hate being home during the day and there is nothing on television

Is where I am living right now.

J is sick. The Dr. gave him an inhaler, a Z-pak and Robotussin with codeine. I have a sore throat and am running a fever. Sleep in this house is scarce. I am tired and hot and just want to sleep 8 hours straight.

kthxbai