My last rant before bed- AI related
I have a piece of paper downstairs with all my comments on last nights show, However I am too lazy to go get them. So i will summarize my best. In no particular order
1. David A.- While I think you are a tremendous singer, please grow a pair and quit letting your dad push you around. I think you would be doing much better if daddy wasn’t picking your songs. Also Dad- Back the fuck off him ok? Do you want to be know as the next DiLo? I didn’t think so.
2. Brooke- While I think you are stunning and remind me a lot of my friend Sunny, I don’t think you have what it take to be here. I think you are talented but better suited for a country sound. Maybe something folksy and blues.
3. Jason - All I have to say is, Cut the dreads. You aren’t in Jamaica man. Also stop trying to be something you aren’t. Sing what you are good at. You killed some great songs last night.
4. Syesha- Girl what can I say- You dropped the bomb on me, baby. Both performances were incredible. The first song made my husband cry ( majors props girl) and the second one had me dancing in the living room.
5. David Cook – DC for Ac- Every week you are astonishing. I download your songs every single week. One might say I am obsessed with you. I’m not peeking in your windows just yet. Only because intel isn’t available. You take every song and put your own spin on it.
I truly pray that you don’t win AI so you can have a much more flexible career and a more lucrative one.
BTW- DC- It would be nice to get a phone call at night telling me you love me. That’s all I’m saying.
Things I learned today
1. typing with carpel tunnel braces is fucking hard
2. it also takes a lot longer
3. your son would prefer you not share his puberty moments with the world ( tough shit)
4. your left wrist is worse than your right, which I assume is due to you being left fucking handed.
5. I should not have to simultaneously bite my lip AND hunt and peck while trying to type.
6. life is hard, but in the end it;s all worth it. Right???
Ahhhh, puberty
I missed you so much. I vividly recall how much fun we had, oh so many years ago when it was my turn to deal with Aunt Flo and the joys of becoming a woman.
What I am upset about is the fact that I never received my copy of puberty for parents of boys in the mail nor via email.
While my lovely, completely complacent son, is ok with getting underarm hair and pubes, He is NOT ok with facial hair. He is afraid that he will end up looking like his father with a goatee and a balding pattern by age 13.
Please tell me WTF am I suppose to say to appease my baby? Please, oh merciful gods of puberty, relay upon me your wisdom that I seek.
*sigh* Where did we go wrong
Warrick, I love you, really I do. But let’s not get busted and blow that fine ass gig you got with CSI ok honey.
I still love you, just don’t bend over and get the soap ok ?
Dear Karma
I realize that I procrastinate and that it’s my fault. Really I do. I also realize that insurance exams are hard but must you throw shit at people that they are never going to fucking use? I mean I understand I can take the exam as many times as needed. However what you don’t realize that after the 3rd time I am giving you a big fuck you. I don’t care that much.
Also thanks for fucking up and not having my discussion board posts show up so I got a F on my last assignment. This isn’t the first time this has happened either. WTF did I do to you to fuck up my week so much and it’s only Tuesday.
Fuck you!
Me
Paging CSI
There’s blood spatter in my bathroom. Ya know those callus shavers? Yeah well I have one and sometimes I get a little zealous while using them. I am now missing a chunk of my foot.
So if you guys could get over here with some tape and those little q-tips that would be great.
Update- So not only was their blood in the bathroom but now having walked into our bedroom, the office, down the stairs and in the kitchen I have left a blood trail through the house since my band-aid soaked through. So now not only am I missing part of my foot I now have DNA all over the floors.
Great- just fucking great
I’m dying
Not only do I have 2 papers to write I have 3 tests to take to get my CE credits for my H&L insurance license.
Now I know I procrastinate and I know that this is my fault. But I have to take 24 hours of CE credits today cause they have to be in the Insurance Commissioners office by oh, TOMORROW.
So I have a bazillion chapters of online reading followed by an exam. I have already taken 2 only 3 more to go.
WHY OH WHY do I do this to myself.
I’m going to take a shower
May 11th
That is the day that J will be home for good. Or so we hope. As of right now that is what I am going with.
He still doesn’t have a job to come home to but he has another interview today and we are waiting to see about his last interview. So hopefully within the next couple weeks we will know something.
Keep your fingers crossed for us.
Things that don’t make me happy
1. American Idol – I use to believe that this was a competition for amateurs, While I now understand that it’s all about ratings and self promotion. I am shocked as shit by tonights loser. Granted I didn’t really believe the hype that this show is rigged. Granted I am thrilled when the likes of Daughtry and Bo Bice don’t win. Why you may ask? Because losers of AI tend to have better careers than the winners. With the exception of Carrie Underwood and Jordin Sparks. My point being that Brooke and Jason needed to be in the bottom two tonight and neither were. I am not a fan of Carly. She had her chance and blew it a few years ago, But seriously America thought that she was worse than Brooke or Jason. I am now a believer in the conspiracy theory. All I have to say is that my boyfriend had better not win. He deserves a much better career than the past Idol men winners. That’s all I’m saying.
(see you when you get home DC… Smooches)
2. Detective Green- WTF is going on with L&O that it lets a fine ass piece of meat leave one of my favorite shows. While I realize that Det. Green “might” want to pursue other career opportunities. Does he not realize that I live to see his hot ass body on my show. First he is an amazing actor and I love the intensity of his performances. Second how the hell do they intend to replace him with the jackass from those dumb ass comedy movies. That’s like telling Picasso he is going to be followed up by my sons’ 5th grade art class.
Yeah I’m bitter and damn proud of it. All I have to say is that Detective Green better get his sweet ass over here cause I have a crime I want to commit.
3. Elliott- All I can say is that I want you to be my next husband, You know once my current one dies, I need you to console me. Just make sure you show up with no shirt on and in boxers, unshaven and be prepared for a very long night.
BTW- Have I mentioned that my husband is still living in Florida and I need to get laid. Yeah, I didn’t think so.
Famous people born on MY birthday
Lucky Vanous (YUMMO)
Ethel Kennedy ( does this entitle me to some money?)
Oleg Cassini ( another link to the Kennedy family. I knew I was from royalty)
Not too shabby.
Today is my birthday…
And I received more cards today from friends and I loved reading them, I think it’s funny to see what people pick out for you. So today thanks go out to- Jessie, Keara, and Danielle. I also got a couple cards from my husband and one from my mom. Obviously the cards from my husband are my favorite but a very close runner up is this one made by Monkey Boy. I can’t wait to smoosh him, whether he will hold still or not.
Friends
I love my Friends, because of them my birthday tomorrow won’t be so lonely. With J in Florida and no big plans I was feeling a little sad and sorry for myself. Pity party for one please.
But the last 2 days I have gotten a bunch a cards from my friends.
So I want to send a big smooshy Thanks to Nickiey, GH, Meghan, Sara, & Corrine. I love my cards and you guys put a smile on my face today.
Mommy can I have him??
I promise I’ll take really really good care of him
He is pretty nice to look at too, But that voice. UGH. Does.not.go.with.the.body
So tired
This is going to be short cause my meds are kicking in.
I don’t start work on Monday, It had to be pushed back until the beginning of May since Microsoft decided to do a new software release. So, I have 2 more weeks to sit on my ass and do nothing.
I mean I could finish painting and hang up pictures, Clean out the garage so 2 cars will fit.
Or I could sit and watch lifetime and read the 4 books I have checked out from the library.
Decisions, decisions.
