It’s My Life

Weird Florida Law

• The state constitution allows for freedom of speech, a trial by jury, and pregnant pigs to not be confined in cages.
• One may not commit any “unnatural acts” with another person.
• Unmarried couples may not commit “lewd acts” and live together in the same residence.
• Corrupting the public morals is defined as a nuisance, and is declared a misdemeanor offense.
• Doors of all public buildings must open outwards.
• It is illegal to sell your children.
• Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner.
• A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.
• If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.
• It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.
• Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.
• Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.
• It is illegal to skateboard without a license.
• When having sex, only the missionary position is legal.
• You may not fart in a public place after 6 P.
• It is considered an offense to shower naked.
• You are not allowed to break more than three dishes per day, or chip the edges of more than four cups and/or saucers.
• Oral sex is illegal.
• You may not kiss your wife’s breasts.
• Penalty for horse theft is death by hanging.
• In Big Pine Key – It is illegal to molest a Key deer.
• In Broward County – Persons may not be “inappropriately attired” who work at hot dog stands.
• In Cape Coral – It is against the city ordinance to hang your clothes outside on a clothesline.
• In Cape Coral – It it illegal to park a pick-up truck in your driveway or in front of your house on the street.
• In Cape Coral City – A $50 fine will be levied on anyone who allows a couch to sit in their carport.
• In Daytona Beach – The molestation of trash cans is banned.
• In Daytona Beach – Maintaining a car on your property which is no longer in use is prohibited.
• In Daytona Beach – Owning a flower pot with water in it that isn’t capable of draining is considered a public nuisance.
• In Destin – It is illegal for an owner of a store to allow another person to pass out free ducklings in front of the store.
• In Destin – Destin states that a cat that viciously chases passers-by is a ‘bad cat’.
• In Destin – If you wish to go swimming in the ocean, get dressed in your hotel room.
• In Destin – Torpedoes may not be set off in the city.
• In Destin – If you like to love to ride your bicycle in Destin, don’t lean it up against a tree in a cemetery.
• In Destin – It is illegal to drive over graves in a cemetery.
• In Destin – If you notice an ice-cream man attempting to sell his cold concoctions in a cemetery, call the police immediately, for that is illegal.
• In Hialeah – Ambling and strolling is a misdemeanor.
• In Key West – Chickens are considered a ‘protected species’.
• In Miami Beach – Skateboarding is not allowed at any police station.
• In Miami Beach – Persons face up to thirty days in jail for selling oranges on the sidewalk.
• In Miami Beach – Termite farms are not allowed within the city.
• In Miami Beach – No one may bring a pig with them to the beach.
• In Naples – Neon signs are prohibited.
• In Palm Bay – Persons may not tow a sled behind their bicycles.
• In Pensacola – Citizens may not be caught downtown without at least 10 dollars on their person.
• In Pensacola – It is illegal to roll a barrel on any street, fines go up according to the contents of the barrel.
• In Pensacola – A women can be fined (only after death), for being electrocuted in a bath-tub because of using self-beautification utensils.
• In Sanford – Stage nudity is banned, with the exception of “bona fide” theatrical performances.
• In Sarasota – If you hit a pedestrian you are fined $78.
• In Sarasota – You may not catch crabs.
• In Satellite Beach – Persons may not appear in public clothed in liquid latex.
• In Tampa – Women may not expose their breasts while performing “topless dancing”.
• In Tampa – Lap dances must be given at least six feet away from a patron.