It’s My Life

Here it is in all it’s glory. I tried to take a good picture with the lights but it just didn’t seem to work.
Oh well… It’s decorated and that’s all that matters

So I decided to make my blog public again. Some of my friends don’t have a gmail account and couldn’t read it so… Here I am again for the whole world to see.

I probably should have done my hair.

I need to whine and it’s gonna be kinda long so bear with me.

1. I HATE the house we are renting. It’s a POS. The landlords could give a shit less about the condition as long as they get their $1400 they don’t give a rat’s ass. The cosmetics of this house make me want to scream. 80% of the rooms are pea green. No I am not kidding. 2 of the bedrooms, the formal living area and the bathrooms. The whole house, except for the bedrooms, is tile. Including the countertops. Yes the fucking countertops are tile. The bedrooms have the cheapest carpet I have ever seen. EVER. Astroturf is better than this shit.
2. I hate that cars can park on the street in subdivisions, Both sides so you barely have room to drive.
3. I hate Florida. I do, I admit it. I embrace it. I want to be back home in MSN. The entire time I lived in MSN I wanted to live here. The grass isn’t always greener people. My friends and our house is in MSN ( and MKE too) I want to be home NOW.
4. I hate being fat. I hate that I allowed myself to become this fat. How the fuck do I have this much lack of self control. Honestly I need about $10K of therapy to help me explain this.
5. I hate being sad all the time. I will cry at the drop of a hat. For example, John was telling today about this movie he watched that was a true story about a war. Don’t know which war or what movie but I started to cry. I cry over everything and anything lately.
6. I hate having such a lack of motivation. I love doing Slumber Parties and I am good at it. Plus I make kick ass money when I do them. Where the hell else are you going to make $1100 in 4 hours and it be legal. Come on. My problem is getting off of my fat ass and going out and promoting myself and Slumber Parties. It’s like crack for a crack whore, It’s so easy to book parties if I would open my mouth and get out of my house.
7. I don’t want to leave the house. I realize that this is depression, I understand that. I have to make an appt. with a shrink. I started Adderall last week and I need a shrink to say I need it. I am sure I also need him to tell me a bunch of other stuff.

Ok I think I am done whining, bitching, complaining whatever that was.

I am sure there will be other posts but for now. This one will do.

Ok so I started Adderall XR for ADD a few days ago. I was warned by an iFriend about the pooping issue. Now I already poop a couple times a day but seriously people??? I am going to have to move my desktop into the potty in order to get anything done.

Now that my blog is by invitation only I am going to be sharing personal and sometimes private stuff.
Parental Discretion is advised =)

This post is going to ramble and have no rhyme or reason so deal. Tomorrow is my son’s 12th birthday and we are going to Disney World. Most of my friends are younger than me which means they are all starting on their baby/child journey. Mine started when I was 23. I was young and clueless but was in love. Not so much with my husband but with being a mom. I know all you moms out there are wishing too GOD that your baby is sleeping through the night. I swear on my love of Manolos, that you will look back and miss those days of 3 am feedings and that sweet little bundle falling asleep on your chest. Guys there are only a few things I wish that I could go back and experience once again and my son sleeping on my chest while I watched Rush Limbaugh is one of them. Anywho… Back to tomorrow. D will be 12. We are taking him out of school and doing Disney and Epcot. Granted not so much at Epcot but we had to throw it in.
I think of how old he is an how I get so emotional over his ” developments”. We are currently going through puberty. Ladies, I am telling you now. I would rather change a shitty diaper at 3 am for the next year then hear the words- ” I have hair on my private area”

Why am I telling you this? 1. Because I am traumatized. 2. Because you need to realize they grow up so fast and before you know it, they are telling you how to have babies and that to have one it involves a penis and a vagina. 3. Because I am hormonal, 12 years ago I was in labor. Screaming and begging the Dr. to get him the fuck out of me and swearing to God if he stopped the pain I would never ever ever have sex again. No really I meant it.

So tomorrow while you are working or whatever you do during the day. Think about my husband, me and my pubscent boy at Mouse World USA and thank God that you aren’t there. YET.

I have many. TV, shopping, food,the internet. I gave up an addiction recently. I was addicted to The Knot . When I got engaged I found the Knot. I would spend hours and hours scouring the Knot for ideas for my wedding. I also learned so much. Dollar Dances = tacky. Silk Flowers are questionable. Don’t ask someone too early to be in the wedding party. (still regretting that). Don’t invite people to just the dinner/dance. I had always assumed if you are invited to the wedding you are invited to everything. That may not always be the case. So if you get an invite for a wedding and then to the dance, You aren’t special enough to be fed. But moving on. My Knot addiction has been going on for over 4 years. 4 YEARS I have spent on a wedding website. Don’t get me wrong I could talk about my wedding everyday if given the chance, but why was I still on the site. Well the best I can figure out is that my friends were there. Yes I made friends off of the Internet. People find mates and lovers all the time via dating websites. I just happened to find most of my friends on the Knot. It started with wedding stuff, then progressed to life stuff. I have seen some of them through some tough times and they have seen me through some as well. I love these women. 2 iFriends where in my wedding, 1 iFriend appointed herself PA for the day and finder of free beer from boys on the Capitol Square. I had a table full of iFriends at my wedding. I went to theirs. I love these women and would be there for them no matter what, Although I draw the line at being in the birthing room. I’ll send the presents and love them and cuddle the hell out of them once they are home.
I guess my point is, I got what I needed from The Knot- Wedding Advice and Great Friends and now it’s time to let go of that addiction. So, Knot, I’ve loved you for a long time but you are going into the file of someone I use to know. While your in that file, tell Brian I said Hi.